An attitude is a chosen state of mind or a feeling.
- It is one’s usual mood or temperament.
- We all have attitudes all of the time, and one of them predominates, creating the temperament.
- A positive attitude is a desirable attitude, and there is a lot to be said for having positive attitudes.
- A negative attitude is an undesirable attitude, and we need to recognize what we consider undesirable.
- All attitudes have much to do with our health; some good and some bad. Fortunately for all of us, there is a lot we can do about the attitudes we choose to carry.
I learned about attitudes and health from the businessman, Earl Nightingale, whom I met first in 1975 and studied his work almost daily for the next 12 years when life led me to three great physician–teachers who guided me into the formulation of a sound healing psychology that has distinct beneficial applications in and for health care. These fine medical professionals: Barry Wood MD, psychiatrist; Bernie Siegel MD, cancer surgeon; and Gerry Jampolsky MD, child psychiatrist, helped me add great depth to the physician’s promise I was taught in the beginning of my second year in the McGill University Faculty of Medicine: “Promise your patients that you will do everything in your power to help them get on with their lives.” This fine trio of physicians introduced me to the supportive functions of small groups that focus on serving that promise, which led to the first H.O.P.E. Group meeting on February 12, 1987. That work called me to sheath my surgeon’s scalpel in 1988.
I share with you now the work of three humans who have helped me in this work:
Viktor Frankl (1905-1997), the Austrian psychologist who survived three years in a series of Hitler’s worst death camps says: “The last of the human freedoms is to choose one’s attitude in a given set of circumstances; to choose one’s way. It is this spiritual freedom that cannot be taken away that makes life meaningful and purposeful.” His choice of attitude made his survival possible where only one out of 28 survived those three years. One of his preferences was hope. He kept it in the face of the hopelessness that surrounded him. The other was love.
The philosopher-psychologist, William James (1842-1910) said, “The greatest discovery of my generation is that human beings, by changing the inner attitudes of their minds, can change the outer aspects of their lives. It is too bad that more people will not accept this tremendous discovery and begin living it.”
My teacher, Earl Nightingale (1921-1989), was fond of saying, “I may not be able to change my mind, but I can change my attitude; just give me about five minutes.” To Earl, Attitude is the key to the gold mine of the Mind, which contains, in turn, the Formula for the creation of our lives; “We become what we think about.” Lest you consider that to be a “New Age” idea, Earl traced it back to a Sanskrit writing about 3,500 years old.
There is one especially funny thing about attitudes… we choose them; all of them. Oh yes, I’ve heard, “S–he made me do it!” a thousand times, and the reality of the compulsion is that there was always at least one other choice. Ego is an important choice-maker, and it always chooses what it thinks best. It then turns it all around and says it could not help the choice. Sometimes its protestations are quite comical.
Negative attitudes: fear and anger…
Anger, the killer with a two–edged sword, is the handmaiden of fear. It only comes from fear, and it is used to cover fear. “The best defense is a good offense;” remember? We need to make choices that steer us out of the traps of anger and fear. It helps greatly to realize that the dangerous aspects of anger and fear lie in their projection. Fear lives in the future, no matter how short the interval. Most anyone who has had a life–threatening experience knows that the mind focuses clearly on the present instant only… there is no time–projection; only awareness. Anger tries to live in somebody else’s space: spatial–projection. When anger does not project, it transforms into presence… assertiveness, the ability to stand one’s ground.
Positive attitudes: sorrow, happiness, hope, joy, love…
Attitudes are essential to our health… the full range of them. Sorrow or grief is a powerful emotion when we can separate it from the attachments of fear. It is the heartfelt emotion of compassion. Anger naturally evolves into it when we stop projecting. Look for the sorrow without pity the next time you feel anger toward something or someone. Happiness: John Stuart Mill maintained that happiness was an eternally elusive goal, but a natural state that could only be experienced while the individual was in the service of a worthwhile cause. The happiness neurotransmitter is beta–endorphin, which is 50 times more potent than heroin. Remarkably, pressure on the face at the points where the smile muscles attach changes blood flow patterns in the brain and causes a marked increase in b-endorphin levels. Let a smile be your umbrella on a rainy, rainy day!
One of the most powerful positive attitudes is hope. It has the power to reach into the future and take control away from fear. It frames our images of our lives. Hope is all about possibility. Expectations adulterate it. It comes from the awareness that things can make sense regardless of how they work out. It empowers all of the attitudinal shifts we seek for ourselves and others. Hope was the one thing that made a difference in the lives of Viktor Frankl and his fellow prisoners. Hope made the loneliness of Capt. Gerald (Jerry) Coffee’s “Hanoi Hilton” prison cell bearable. He lived in it for over seven years with only rats and lizards for company. He kept from going crazy, or dying, by exercising and meditating; going inside to find himself… the one who came here to spend over seven years in durance vile. When he found himself, he found he was not alone!
Joy is the emotion of love. In states of joyfulness we have identified three powerful substances that directly affect the immune system by turning on the myriad of cells that function as part of the immune system. Candace Pert has demonstrated that the cells of the immune system that are infected with the HIV can be protected from getting HIV–infected by the presence of one of these joy substances she calls Vaso-active Intestinal Peptide… V.I.P., for short!
No matter how lonely our environment may seem, whenever we go to find our true selves (as did Gerry Coffee), we find we are not alone, and the full range of a life rich in healthy attitudes becomes a reality. The reality of such a life is a thing of beauty that can be shared wherever we go. It is a quality that is always present, no matter how much our fears and anger may hide it.
Finding that life is a matter of choice. The road is difficult, but the rewards are great. Every journey, no matter how long, begins with but a single step. The strength to take that step is contained in the attitude of possibility that comes from believing in oneself and one’s purpose in being here. There is nothing wasted or imperfect in this wondrous universe. To think so is only a matter of attitude; so, it can be changed… the choice is up to each one of us.
