Purpose: To introduce the
concepts behind HOPE Group Guiding practices.
The first HOPE Group came into being in the author's surgical practice on
February 12, 1987, for five of his patients who were facing cancer’s challenge.
At that meeting, they chose to call themselves a HOPE Group with the
proviso that they find four meaningful words to fit the acronym if we wanted to
continue to use it. At the next meeting, the nurse who started this work with the
author proposed “Healing of Persons Exceptional” and all those present agreed,
perceiving that: “Healing” meant to become whole... to integrate body, mind,
soul, and spirit into one Being;
“Persons” reflected our shared human-ness; and “Exceptional” reflected the fact
that no two of us are alike.
This group came into being after the author had spent twelve years
studying and applying the success-oriented work of Earl Nightingale of the
Nightingale-Conant Corporation of Niles, Illinois. For Nightingale, success was
the "progressive realization of a worthy ideal" and every human being
is born with such an ideal. For Brian Tracy, who worked for the Nightingale-Conant Corporation, and who was a student of Nightingale,
this worthy ideal was a "core passion" or a "heart's
desire". Hamilton saw that this was
a spiritual concept, and it implied that we come into this life with a
“knowing” that can become a service to self, others, and nature. He encouraged
his patients to get involved in the pursuit of that ideal in the face of the
challenges of life, of which cancer was but one
of many possible challenges.
This encouragement, which involved careful listening and diplomatic experience-sharing,
had beneficial therapeutic effects. Early in his practice, his teaching
approach to his patients, which he had carefully learned in medical school, was
challenged by these same patients who were not so much interested in listening
to his advice as they were interested in having him listen to their stories. He
considers himself fortunate to have had patients who were not afraid to tell
him what they wanted of him. After ten years of being a student to his
patients, without any prior training in counseling or psychotherapy, he felt a
strong call to learn more about these two practices. A social-worker friend
suggested that he find a psychiatrist who would tutor him in them.
He agreed, and she introduced him to a gifted psychiatrist who was ever so much
a Renaissance man. Over the next two years his tutor introduced him to the
practice of support groups, planting the seed for that first HOPE Group. Over
the next twenty-odd years, more than 6,000 HOPE Group meetings followed an
evolutionary path along the lines of Hamilton’s original studies.
Today’s HOPE Groups are gatherings of people who come together to find wellness
by replacing fear with hope, the key to deepening the meaning, value and purpose
of their lives. They are catalysts of change where the attitude is hope--the
attitude of meaning and possibility--and their context is love, the context of
true relationships. Certified HOPE Guides provide this supportive community service
for people who want to move forward, either by getting through a crisis or by progressing
to the next level in their lives. People who choose to participate in HOPE Groups
are commonly seeking emotional and/or physical healing and/or relief from physical
and/or psychological pain. HOPE Groups evoke strengths that increase the source
of possibilities within each one of us for living a creative life, and they focus
on bringing that life into its creativity. In addition to HOPE Groups, HOPE, Inc. responds
to the needs of others with SoulCircling workshops and retreats, and one-on-one
work with HOPE Guides.
HOPE Groups differ from traditional therapeutic groups in that they do not
seek to diagnose or prescribe specific treatments for what is “wrong.” They do not
seek to decrease symptoms of mental and physical health problems; though such results
are common benefits of HOPE Group participation. They do not teach except
through the unconditional sharing of experience. They set a context of safety
and compassion to hold the agenda that walks in through the door in the form of
the day's participants. The responsibility of the HOPE Guide is to hold herself
or himself in safety and compassion that makes it possible to listen to every
story without judgment or trying to change it. HOPE Guiding eschews judging,
criticizing, or even trying to understand anyone in the group. Rather, it
supports genuine interest and patience that can only come by being in an open,
transparent relationship to everyone in the room including the Guide, herself
or himself.
HOPE Groups differ from traditional “support” groups in that they do not support
a problem, e.g. cancer, alcoholism, anxiety, depression, chronic pain; for
it follows the psychological observation that “what we focus on expands.” Rather,
HOPE groups acknowledge the value of having good support in appreciating the existence
of problem as a lesson to be learned
about life, and guiding a person to focus on the meaning and possibilities that every life contains and which lie beyond the problem… according to the ability
of that person to create that focus. HOPE Groups are resources of experiences in
living life through all of its challenges and rewards. They help people to share
these experiences as gentle offerings to be used to any degree by another… or
not, according to the discretion of the other. Thus, an important function of
the group is to share experience rather
than to give advice.
Participating in a HOPE Group is an opportunity for an individual to discover
their “worthy ideal” and choose how they are going to achieve it, what they will do
with it when they have it, and accomplish that on their own timetable on their own
unique path. HOPE Groups use the HOPE Golden Book , a laminated, folded,
letter-sheet document of four panels
that sets the intention for the meeting with the prime directive stated
on the “HOPE Group Opening”: “We are a HOPE Group who have come together to find the wellness
that comes with the discovery of peace of mind.” It sets the context for the meeting with the twelve
“Principles of Attitudinal Healing,” the purpose of which is to free the
participants from the chains of fear and conflict by helping them to see life
in the safety of attitudes of peace and love. Finally, it sets that safety with
ten “HOPE Group Guidelines” that are verbal agreements as to how the
participants get along together for the
duration of the meeting. In this way, group participants create the agenda for each
meeting. HOPE Group guides’ primary responsibilities to the group are to model active
listening, reflect back to the speaker what they hear, affirm the presence of movement
and direction aligned to an intention, trust the sought-after answers that lie within
the person with the question or concern, and use the Golden Book to keep the
group focused on its intention, its context, and its safety. At the end of the meeting, all gather in a circle to repeat the serenity prayer as intentions for life that last into the time they come back together..
HOPE groups are places where people explore who they are, not whatthey have, whatthey have done, or whatothers
think of them, which includes their labels—their diagnoses and prognoses.They learn to see
life as a call from Life, itself... a blessing. They learn to see that Life
has met them with a set of circumstances that may well have contained a
heartbreak. How they see that breaking determines the quality of the gift that
they have to give Life in return for that life. They do so by asking those
questions implied in the HOPE Group Opening that evoke meaning: “Who are you?” “Why
are you here?” “How are you going to get what you came for?” “What are you going
to do with it when you have it?” Some people who run volunteer-facilitated groups
have suggested to me that these questions are “therapy” that belongs in licensed,
certified, “degreed” practices, to which I reply that these questions come out of
the public (read “non-therapeutic”) experience with developing successful lives
and not from any texts of psychology or psychotherapy.
Thirty years of human development work has all grown out of this domain that
belongs to the general public and is focused on Nightingale’s experience with a
lifetime study of the nature of success. Instead, HOPE would offer these evocative
skills to the facilitators of any of this nation’s thousands of self-help groups.
The need to participate in a HOPE Group exists in almost every one of us
at some time or another. Most of us seek the support of a group when a serious
disease such as cancer, AIDS, depression, or alcoholism confronts us. Some come
with non-life-threatening but no less serious conditions such as chronic
fatigue syndrome, emphysema, arthritis, or lupus. Some come with depression,
manic depression, or anxiety disorders. For some, life just isn’t going the way
they want. For some, it is essential that their fellow group participants have
conditions similar to theirs. For others, open, eclectic groups are
appropriate. HOPE does not argue these points; it merely seeks to respond to
the wishes of each group. HOPE’s belief and experience is that there is a way
for each of us through the difficulties of disease to the discovery of health.
The meaning of life and its discovery lies at the core of HOPE’s psychology;
“movement towards a meaningful future is not possible without viewing the past as
a series of vital lessons”. HOPE’s psychology avoids analysis that pathologizes
the past in order to create a meaningful present. Instead, it asks each of us to
view the past as an integrated, molding, and shaping experience that challenges
us to find meaning, value, and purpose in our present lives. This psychology functions
on the wisdom of Albert Einstein who said, “We can not solve the problem at the
level at which the problem was created.” HOPE perceives that the problem invariably
arose in childhood during the tender time of ego-development, so the solution lies
in discovering one’s “higher self,” the name of which is Psyche--the soul. Indeed,
the word, psychology, literally means “the meaningful relationships of the soul.”
And the work of discovering one’s “higher self” is spiritual work.
As Cheri Huber put it a decade ago,
“Yes, I am me, but
what animates me is what animates Uncle Bob, the cat, the tree, the rock and
all that is. We are packaged differently, but we share the same essence. There
are many of us and we are not the same but we are all one.”
And HOPE does its work by acknowledging and validating the one and the
many.
Therefore, the function of a HOPE Guide is to look at each life as a rich,
though sometimes painful, always challenging experience and to see how that rich
experience can direct a life towards the discovery of its own meaning. Their purpose
is not to analyze a life or to help people find specific goals in their life, but
to follow the leadings of this psychology. HOPE Guides bridge the past and the future
by focusing on living in the present moment--the “now” moment of Krishnamurti.
Loving kindness--compassion--is the motor of this psychology; forgiveness leading
to inner peace and, ultimately, to happiness, is the consequence. HOPE Guides know
that we must remember the past in order to forgive judgments about it that paralyze
both our present and future growth. They appreciate the value of the popular perception
about anger… it is like taking poison and expecting the object of the anger to die.
They understand that forgiveness is possible only where love and compassion prevail.
HOPE Guides provide people with a compassionate, soft-eyed approach to their lives.
They encourage people to see themselves as beings called to life by Life itself,
which has provided them with a set of personal resources with which to meet the
unique circumstances that Life gives them. HOPE Guides encourage people to believe
in themselves as spiritual beings with the power to use their resources and circumstances
to transform their lives into meaningful blessing-gifts to themselves, to their
fellow human beings, and to Life itself.
We in HOPE have discovered how wonderfully uplifting it is to know that
each of us is a once-told tale, a once-painted portrait, a once-read poem, a
once-danced dance promised this life since the beginning of time. When we tell
others our tale, show them our portrait, read them our poem, and dance them our
dance, we have shown them who we really, really are. Being thus informed, HOPE
has learned to say, “You honor me with your Self. Thank you.”
HOPE Guides ensure confidentiality because (with the exception of HOPE
Groups as clinical services) they do not keep written notes or goals set jointly
or separately by the guide or by the individual with whom they are working. Guides
work with clarity of intent and purpose and follow the context of the Golden
Book that acknowledges past experiences, validates present life, builds
agreements that treat each other with mutual care consideration and respect, and
helps their fellow human beings to recognize and describe their potential, encouraging
them all the while to reach out for it. HOPE Guides focus on attitudinal shifts
that transform an individual’s guilty and/or shameful response(s) from a traumatic
set of circumstances into a transformative set of experiences. They help these individuals
focus on setting and clarifying their intentions, and developing and implementing
initiatives. The process moves people forward toward appreciating the ego’s disappointment
with a situation that the spiritual element of the human--the soul--knows is a blessed
gift.
HOPE Guides recognize that emotions and attitudes are intimately connected
and have profound subconscious effects that govern the life of every individual.
In this way, HOPE Guides work with people to create attitudinal shifts that transform
harmful responses based on the dark triad of guilt, fear, and anger into the beneficial
responses of hope, love, and peace. In this way participants come to identify with
the order that created our Universe. HOPE Guides also recognize the power of the
dark triad to overwhelm people and are readily prepared to advise them to seek professional
help in such situations to augment their recovery program.
HOPE Guides help people construct and reconstruct their lives by focusing
on that which makes them feel whole, integrated, and healthy--an attitudinal belief
that things can make sense (Vaclav Havel) and gives life meaning (Victor Frankl).
This process helps people recognize old labels with which they identified themselves
and create new, honest, and realistic descriptions that help them shift their state
of mind from illness toward wellness. It encourages them to live in the present
moment, free of projections and attachments and to focus on the whole of life rather
than its fragments. It also encourages them to see that they are the sum total of
all the choices they have made in their lives and that they can choose again and
rewrite their story in any way that they wish. It encourages them to use the two
attitudes that Victor Frankl found common to all concentration camp survivors--hope
and love--and to use them to focus on developing a life story that contains a worthy
ideal--the very essence of success.
HOPE
groups in general are
powerful forms of cognitive restructuring that follow centuries-old principles
of creating and living successful lives.
HOPE
groups as volunteer, non-therapeutic services are not expected to practice any form of therapy.
The group is not there to treat members’ diseases. They encourage anyone
needing conventional therapy to find it outside the group.
HOPE Groups as professional,
therapeutic clinical services provide a safe environment in which the
participants can explore the qualities of their relationships with their
healthcare professionals. They provide a healthy, safe forum for discussing the
effects of the individual participant’s therapies. Guided by HOPE-trained
professionals (nurses, physician assistants, and physicians), they provide
valuable information about their individual therapies that help their
healthcare professionals make beneficial therapeutic decisions. HOPE Groups
provide a safe venue for the (re-) implementation of the placebo effect on all
therapies.
The process of HOPE Guiding comprises five simple elements that define the
operating system: Listening with open heart and mind; asking open, honest questions
for clarification and deeper understanding; avoiding criticizing or advice-giving;
affirming people for their experience of the way in which they have met life’s circumstances;
and encouraging them to create benefit for self and others from that experience.
HOPE Guiding avoids the use of the pathological assumption and questions: “Something’s
broke; what is it?” “What caused it?” and “What can we do to fix it?” Instead, it
prefers questions that ask for the story of the individuals’ experiences of life,
how they have met it in the past, how they would like to meet it in both the present
and the future, and how they will feel when they know they have succeeded. Thus,
HOPE’s evocative psychology and related HOPE Guide work complement virtually all
forms of counseling, psychotherapy, coaching, and self-help groups.
Requirements
to be a HOPE Guide:
General:
HOPE Guiding requires mature-for-age, caring, healthy people who have no active,
debilitating disease and who have the ability and desire to listen to others with
discernment and compassion, reflect on what they have heard, encourage others to
use their personal resources to meet the circumstances of their lives, and affirm
them through every step in the process. HOPE guides do not seek to change people,
but delight in seeing them evolve. HOPE Guides are not there for the purpose of
controlling anyone in the meeting; rather they nurture responsibility. HOPE guides
follow the precept: “If you have come here to help me, you are wasting your time.
But if you have come because your liberation is tied up with mine, then let us work
together.” (Lilla Watson, Aboriginal activist). HOPE guides come from all occupations--including
psychotherapists, counselors, and coaches who leave their licenses and certificates
at the door when they come to do HOPE work--working to ease the human travail by
sharing their liberation in a safe place.
Specific: Every HOPE guide has:
participated in a SoulCircling exercise and HOPE group meetings.
submitted to HOPE an application consisting of a HOPE resume (“a description
of those personal resources with which they met life, the circumstances that life
met them with, the experiences they have created out of the interaction including
education and work, and their intention for becoming a HOPE group guide”), and writing
a review of Viktor Frankl’s book, Man’s Search for Meaning.
read and become familiar with SoulCircling: The Journey to the Who, and the
HOPE Guide’s Manual.
participated in Level 1 HOPE group guide training.
made a conscious decision to replace the conventional “medical model” questions
with the “HOPE model”. They have agreed to ask instead for the story of the individual’s
experience of life, how they met it in the past, and how they want to meet it in
the future… in short, life-affirming questions, rich in potential.
agreed to validate the uniqueness of an individual’s experience as a way through
the pathless land of truth to the essence of Life--love.
Specific for HOPE
Groups in clinical services:
The HOPE Guide of a HOPE Group in a clinical service must be a licensed
professional who is employed by and familiar with the exact nature of the
therapies offered by that service. This person is qualified by the service to
be familiar with the patients’ clinical records and able to make additions to
those records with the full knowledge and consent of the participating patients.
Such a professional would be a licensed nurse, nurse practitioner, physician assistant,
or physician subject to the laws and ethics of licensure in the particular
state in which the practice is located.
Precepts of HOPE’s
function and service:
The Universe is conscious, subjective, and experiential.
“We are not human beings in search of a spiritual experience. We are spiritual
beings immersed in a human condition (Père Teilhard de Chardin).”
We are here because Life has created us. It has given us resources with which
to meet It. It has met us with a set of circumstances. We have created unique individual
experiences out of that meeting. We always share that experience with others--and
our attitude toward it--24/7. We have chosen that attitude, which the world constantly
and accurately mirrors back at us. As that attitude was a choice, we have the power
to make another choice.
Love defines the all-inclusive relationships that describe the Universe. It
is also the attitude of relationship. It brings us inner peace, and inner peace
is the way of love, and the way to happiness.
All experience uniquely reflects the
vital, changing nature of the Universe.
Everyone seeks their inner, spiritual essence that gives meaning to their
lives. They reveal its presence in their questions and concerns about that which
they see around them, not knowing that it is a reflection of that which lies within.
HOPE Guides listen and reflect what they hear and feel in the presence of these
seekers.
Subjective (offering) “I” statements always take preference over objective
(instructing, advising) “you” statements.
Advice-giving is self-serving; experience-offering is other-serving. HOPE
Guides compassionately share experiences of self and others.
HOPE Guiding seeks clarity.
HOPE Guiding holds integrity.
In summary:
“HOPE is spiritual. HOPE Groups and SoulCircling are sacred processes. It
cuts through all that is superficial. Engaging in HOPE eliminates all pretenses.
This is what you call an ‘open heart’. Nowhere else does this happen with such regularity.”
– Colleen R.
Quote references in support of HOPE’s views of the past.
“All of
us, whether guilty or not, whether old or young, must accept the past. It is not
a case of coming to terms with the past. That is not possible. It cannot be subsequently
modified or undone.”
-Richard von Weizsäcker
“Those
who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.”
-George Santayana
“The present
contains nothing more than the past, and what is found in the effect was already
in the cause.”
-Henri Bergson
“To look
back to antiquity is one thing, to go back to it is another.”
-Charles Caleb Colton
“Some are
so very studious of learning what was done by the ancients that they know not how
to live with the moderns.”
-William Penn
“So that we may move on in life, it is not that we should forgive and forget;
rather it is that we must forgive and remember. Thus we free ourselves from our
past conditioning. “
-Ken Hamilton
